Oncoming Rains

Loudly, the black skies rage the end of day,
thundering winds, held in cage, this dying May.
I hark! I hark! wet raindrops trip,
down scarlet stars, staccato drip,
dancing waltzes to drums , my deep delight,
I hark the cacti’s harsh weeping tonight.

Fervent atmosphere eddying black and blue,
Sweet perfume unsteady, mindless, askew
I say! I say! Turn out lights, and
breath in this electric invite
of cacophonic jargons, joys extreme
I say we are safe, tis Nature supreme.

©Mohana Das

Staccato form, D’verse FormForAll

Advertisements

25 thoughts on “Oncoming Rains

  1. wonderful imagery and words! I love the line, “dancing waltzes to drums, my deep delight” to me it brings together the formality of the waltz with the primitive nature of drumming, very nice.

  2. Perfect use of the form and you capture that excitement one feels as a storm is rolling in. I grew up on the high plains and we could smell and feel a storm coming in before we even saw the clouds. Sometimes after a long dry spell we would turn off the lights and watch the rain and as children dance around in it. Wonderful poem!

  3. A beautiful, rhyming celebration of nature’s light-and-sound shows! Yes, we are safe. Yes, we must breathe in these experiences in truly participate. Life-saving breaths, indeed!

  4. This is just excellent!!! You followed the form and used it to create a anthology level poem.

    I love the what happens in lines 3 and 4 of the second stanza with the “and”

    I say! I say! Turn out lights, and
    breath in this electric invite

    (I think you mean “breathe” instead of breath)

    Then I like the way you handle the repetition of the first two syllables of the last line.

    This is just a great poem!

  5. loved the use of the words and the imagery specilly in thr 1st paragraph..
    thundering winds, held in cage, this dying May.
    I hark the cacti’s harsh weeping tonight.
    -awsome..!!

    by the way, i am triporna ghosh, a new blogger and i love penning down my feelings and thoughts, if u can just comment on my posts,,so as to make the future posts better..
    http://tripornaghosh.wordpress.com/

  6. Oh, this is such a delight to read out loud – it practically sings with the energy of rhythm, rhyme and repetition… and what theme could possibly be better suited to the requirements of a form called Staccato? Well done!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s