infact i am trying. still
now, knowing its worthless.
you won’t budge. even if i
bleed to death caught in
conflicts, your heart won’t
ever lose her proud spark
because you don’t care. because
you’re scared i might stop caring
too. you’re wrong. nevertheless
you have left me tied, precarious,
hanging in ambiguity and
i wait down in this dim where
there is nothing left to begin.
no escape, not a new smile, or
some other ache. its randomness,
your usual business, calling
to hang up without words
i am weathered, love, lapsing
in borrowed sanity, half-sedated
while you revel in animosity
in hurts you can’t/won’t share
perhaps i could really help
or maybe its some nymphet who’s
had you wooed and we’re over
even before a start. its lightyears
between us, expanding like
storms upon phosphor seas
the days fall like jigsaw pieces,
i am at a loss, defeated by the same
man, mirror-egos yet again but
i must no more spill dreams.
times have changed. hope
lies serene in her grave now.