To the man I love~

infact i am trying. still
now, knowing its worthless.
you won’t budge. even if i
bleed to death caught in
conflicts, your heart won’t
ever lose her proud spark

because you don’t care. because
you’re scared i might stop caring
too. you’re wrong. nevertheless
you have left me tied, precarious,
hanging in ambiguity and
i wait down in this dim where

there is nothing left to begin.
no escape, not a new smile, or
some other ache. its randomness,
your usual business, calling
to hang up without words
i am weathered, love, lapsing
in borrowed sanity, half-sedated
seeking (re)solutions
while you revel in animosity
in hurts you can’t/won’t share

perhaps i could really help
or maybe its some nymphet who’s
had you wooed and we’re over
even before a start. its lightyears
between us, expanding like
storms upon phosphor seas

the days fall like jigsaw pieces,
i am at a loss, defeated by the same
man, mirror-egos yet again but
i must no more spill dreams.
times have changed. hope
lies serene in her grave now.

©Mohana Das


6 thoughts on “To the man I love~

  1. I mean, this is heartbreak buffet for the soul. Laid out for all to see, the questions, the wondering who, the bitter realizations. Darlin’, you really know how to write, and I’m glad you posted at Real Toads. Peace, Amy

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